Date:	2006-11-02 02:01
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	loved
Music:	Dreams Come True - Teiuka

For those of you who I havn't talked to in a while and have been wondering about my situation with Dorothy, go read this old blog on my myspace XP
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=21645742&blogID=177533774&MyToken=c2ac147d-2110-46af-848c-ba7228ddc292

Or you can get a quick summary by these pics:

Feeling good now, no worries.

REJECT'D

But at least it happened before... yatta...yatta... yatta... same bullshit stuff. Just been having off days at work... working 2-11 alot and tomorrow/today gotta work 11-5 and I haaatteee walmart.

Who the fuck decided to put me in Stationary anyway? That's like the gayest department in the store next to Fabric and Crafts with the Fabric Cutting Table. Only fucking women work in this area, and I'm the only damn guy they put out here? Oh, yea, there's men in hardware... men in garden center... men in sporting goods.. .BUT LETS PUT THIS GUY IN FUCKING STATIONARY! And holy shit, do I get so many god damn "Excuse me Mam" and "Mam!"s.... that gets so damn irritating after a while and I've dealt with it for along 4 months now. Every time I work there, every other minute. They still insist on calling me mam AFTER reading my god damn name badge and AFTER hearing me speak. It's like a big fucking joke to put me in stationary, with pencils and papers and gift cards and back to school aisle.

I also despise being looked at as Greg's sidekick. Or just Greg's best friend. We used to be on the same level, but that all changed when he stayed in Gastonia, and became known through out while I went and bombed in Greensboro. Came back to new faces and Greg being the main guy all around. His personality doesn't help me cause he's the type of guy that likes to be in the spotlight, even if it means trying to belittle his bestfriend whenever he gets a chance in public. Oh yea, we're the brothers but why am I the one that gets shitted on? And get dragged into situations like him and his new current exgf cheating on him, and a bunch of other shit where a bunch of girls are being sluts. It's getting tiring when I go somewhere with him, only to be dragged to some place I don't want to be like random weird person's house or WalMart or Kmart for Bryan to go after a girl who is clearly a girl who "gets around" and plays mind games with him.

Oh and my hate for giving advice to friends, it's still there. I hated it back at A&T and I still hate it now. No one ever fucking listens to Jon. No one wants to have reason and logical thought with consideration to the heart. Noooooo, lets ignore Jon all together and make GIGANTIC FUCKING DRAMAAAAAAAA!!!! Makes me despise giving advice, cause so many damn people wont even bother to listen to it. "Oh Jon, so and so made me sad and broke my heart, what should I do?" I DUNNO, MAYBE NOT TALK TO THEM! "NAH LAWL, I GO BACK TO EM AND WE HAPPY :D" <---- you do NOT know how many fucking times that scenario has come to me and ALWAYS ends the exact same way. And then there's times when I give advice to a possible love interest and then not only does that just get ignored, but they try to use my feelings for them to make me do shit for them. Fuck, just go and try to crush my heart for god's sake. I didn't do what they wanted mind you, but that just hurt me so bad. Then they have the nerve to try to stir up those feelings again to persuade me.

Now you're possibly wondering, if you even bothered to read this far, why dont I just ditch all these people and be happy? I dont even know... maybe I take all of this just because it's near the only possible way to interact with people and be remotely happy. If I'm alone, I'm depressed, and if I get rid of the things that upset me, then I'll be alone. And I see a pattern in my past entries, whenever I get upset, I just tell myself things are getting better and rely on faith to keep my head high. Sure, I still go by it, but I can see why some people have stopped having faith when things go bad for them. It's hard when things just seem awful, and then you get too uncaring for others and dont stop to think of what other people are going through. How do some people even go through life using other people or just stepping over their feelings? You have to have some kind of reason in your mind.

Date:	2006-08-19 03:01
Subject:	Nah, I'm ok guys XD
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Dreams Come True - Teiuka

Just felt a little... bleh that night. My luck varies all the damn time, so I'll write more as things get better.

Been trying to hang with Chris (one in SC) for a looooooooong time now and things seem to always pop up (NO PUNS THERE.... <_< for now.... XP). Yea, I should really stop talkin dirty and cutesy to him on the net though, cause I always end up doing it when his mom is reading his stuff too and that dont help things @_@. Just cant help it sometimes though :3

Still talk to Dorothy here and there when I see her. I mean, really, she'd be so great to date.. just that drama. Dont want drama anymore. Talking to another girl at work, Regina, hoping things go good there. Just my luck with relationships have been extremley sucky. Get used, get nothing, then get rejected, then get blocked by other various things, it's just not fun at all. I hate that feeling of no one really wants me, well, I assume anyone would hate that feeling. But, I gotta stick with my positive outlook on things and keep on keepin' on like usual. Be grateful for what I do have and all.

Date:	2006-08-09 01:47
Subject:	eehhhh
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

>_<;;;

Date:	2006-07-23 00:35
Subject:	Arggh... eh.. Fission Mail'd I guess *shrug*
Security:	Public
Mood:	indifferent
Music:	Michael Jackson - Cheater (Demo)

Turns out Samantha (other girl at McDonalds) dates Oscar (the hispanic dude) now. Well that was a bummer XD. Didn't even have any chances or anything, just that.... I lost -_-;. Well, I'm used to it now seeing that this would be the.. 1.. 2.. 4th time another guy was chosen over me. A wigger... a jock... (tech)a church dude and now a hispanic fry cook. Sucks, yes, but I mean, it's no thang. I just keep on goin like usual, no biggie.

Date:	2006-07-19 02:10
Subject:	GOD DARN LUCK WITH WOMEN
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	Freezepop - Get Ready 2 Rokk (Guitar Hero Ver.)

Well, I decided that it wasn't best to try to have something with Dorothy. Not only did our interests clash alot, but I mean... I dont want to deal with all the drama that would happen with her parents and such. Didn't have alot in common, and I know there's a guy out there better for her then me.

And there's another girl I have my eye on. Also works up there at the Wal*Mart McDonalds (what is with me and going after women in fastfood? XD). She's very nice, and has alot of the same interests as I do. First girl I met around here who KNOWS who Malice Mizer, Rammstein and Psycho Le Cemu are XD!!!!! I have no idea if she likes me too, but we're supposed to hang out and play some video games next week. Ashley and Greg tell me that she really likes me, which I hope is true XP. I've heard that she only dates asian dudes, and I got my half japanese-ness. Hybrids 4 EVA XD

But there's this one hispanic dude who always flirts with her, and tries to stare me down when I'm with her or just sitting in McDonalds. I was sitting with Greg while McDonalds was closing and that hispanic guy's comming out from the back with her, all close to her and bein touchy feely. I dont know if she likes him, she moved her hand from his when he was trying to help change the signs. You guys know me, I HATE competition when trying to impress a girl. These muscles aren't made just for looks! XP.

Also, I got Guitar Hero and it's freaking awesome!!! I pwn'd Greg in it today XD

Date:	2006-07-11 21:01
Subject:	This ytmnd is too catchy 0_o;;
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	Izabel Varosa - Deep Breath

http://caketranslation.ytmnd.com/

:3

Oh, if you guys are ever bored or something, come by my board and sign up. Chustle Humy was destroyed and stuff, and I couldn't do anything about it. So I made a new board and it's already on a good start. The popular thing to do now is play online arcade games in MAME XD. So go to: www.coohumy.owns.it
Yep... it is now... COO HUMY :|

I also forgot to visit Dorothy at McDonalds, since this is the only day she works this week. I'll call her tomorrow. She was very glad to see me at her church last Sunday, she wasn't sure I was going to come. I kinda got there at the last minute ^_^;; (1 minute to be exact). She's part of the choir, and sounds very nice. Got to meet her mom and sisters, who were suprisingly nice and kind too. Still, I havn't got to meet her dad.
Here's a pic of her, even though she got mad at me that night I decided to take her pic... at 12:30am after she worked closing McDonalds XD


I'll try to get more later on. Oh, and I got a new pic of myself as well. After I got out of church, took off the tie and unbuttoned the shirt.

Yeaaaa... I forgot to shave >_

Date:	2006-07-02 08:14
Subject:	Things are lookin good
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	Izabel Varosa - Deadly Rave

Greg was talking to his new gf, Ashley, at McDonalds when a topic about me popped up. Dorothy (works at Mcdonalds too), asked about me. Greg told her more about me and she was really interested. When Greg was about to leave, she gave Greg her number to give to me. Of course, I was happy XD but wasn't sure to call her yet because it was kind of late. I remember Dorothy the times I go to McDonalds and get something, and she was there when me and Greg hung out there last.

Next day at work, my dad called me at work asking questions about how to work my half-broken laptop. I get done talking to him, and head back to Stationary when I see Dorothy there in the pencil aisle looking at pencils. I head on over to her, and stand next to her without saying anything. She smiled and asked if Greg talked to me yet, and I told her he already did, so we talked for a while. She was on her break and said she was looking for some pencils. Joked around with her a bit, then she had to get back to work. I get off work around 5, and see her at McDonalds so I decide to go talk to her. Ashley pulls me to the backroom saying she needs to talk to me, so I just follow her to see what she wants.

Ashley: You do know that she's into you right? Like... VERY into you?
LCM: Yea, I like her to. She's pretty cool.
Ahsley: yea, it was cute seeing her go on her break and asking what part you worked in. She went to go see you didn't she?

I then go sit down with Dorothy, who just got off an hour early. I learn more about her and how she grew up. Very strict churchily family. Her dad does not allow her to wear pants, but only skirts. They dont watch TV at their house either . I had to go home then, and we talked on the phone around 8. She's over 18, but I'm not sure of her age just yet. She's going to the same college I'm going to to get her HS degree because she was homeschooled her whole life. She's also only been to the movie theatres ONCE in her life, and that was for some inspirational movie I've never even heard of. And that was when she was with her cousins in TN! We got around talking about icecream and Dorothy told me that's her weakness. She's only tried Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla though O_O .

I told her when we go out, that I'll take her to the movies, treat her to icecream she's never heard of and introduce her to techonology XD . She told me that she wanted to ask me out a long time ago, but was always scared of what her parents would think. She remembered the first time I went into McDonalds after it closed.

We both have monday off, but the cars in the shop for me and I'm lucky if it gets out by the afternoon. She also wants to go see fireworks on July 4th, but I got work 5-11 that day ;_;

Date:	2006-06-27 02:16
Subject:	Gah, if they switch me to ICS....
Security:	Public
Mood:	good
Music:	Some MJ song

I WILL BE PISSED!!!! XD

I dont mind being a Sales Associate in Stationary. I do what they tell me and I just walk around, straightening things up. But... if they transfer me to ICS (Unloading trucks, pulling out palletes, etc.) then... eeehh. I just wouldn't like it. Not to say I dont already help unload trucks, pull palletes and even help customers with heavy items, because they ask me to do that all the time. Just sayin, I have no idea what their pay is like.

Been talking to Mindy some more. For those of you that dont know, she's a kind and pretty girl that works at Wal-Mart too. Told her that if she wanted to go out sometime, to a movie, just hit me up. She said she'd like that. She's going to Vegas next week though, and I'm getting some days off this week; I'll see if she wants to go see a movie. If not, after her vacation.

Summer Class is going good, except I REALLY despise getting up at 8am everyday except friday and the weekend. Goin smoothley and I help some of the other students in class. The only person I know from HS that's in there is Whitney Crisp, but I havn't really ever gotten a chance to talk to her.

Oh! Almost forgot, my laptop is half broken. If I press on a certain area, it shuts down completley ;_;... good thing it's still under warranty....